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Jan. 24th, 2011

heartfinity

[Across the Galaxies]

January 24, 2011:

For a while, I forgot about this account. A lot has happened, my love. School's back in session for Spring semester, and this time I actually have to work and study, to make sure I don't lose what little scholarship I have left. It's not easy. Nothing worth doing is.

I originally started this as some display of my love. I wanted to do something every day. At first, it was easy. I didn't have much in the realm of responsibility. But then I just forgot one day, and it snowballed. Now it's months later, and I feel rather guilty. I guess the best laid plans of mice and men, and all of that jazz.

And here we are now, in the first month of 2011. You've got exams, I've got a new semester, the usual. Life goes on. Maybe I came back here because I know that you're incredibly stressed.

The rents say I've done a lot of growing up. That I'm doing a lot of growing up. I don't really know if it's true, but I'm rather conflicted if it is. I guess I miss being without responsibility, but who doesn't? Don't mind me, I'm rambling.

I'm trying this new thing where I don't worry. It's hard, and maybe that's why my head is pounding. Even now, our conversation dwindles. I want so badly for you to ask to hear my voice, but I keep my wishes in my heart, and in this entry. Chances are, you don't remember this place, seeing as I forgot about it.

Who am I kidding. I never forgot it. It was always in the back of my mind, and I kept pushing it off. I'm glad I'm getting around to it now. I missed typing this up. More than that, I miss you. That's why I want to hear and see you, you know? Because I miss you, and that's the closest I can get right now. You have no idea how badly I wish to be by your side. How I miss everything about you.

I'd give anything for teleportation. I'd give anything for any way to see you, even if I was given Jesusboots and was told to walk across the damn ocean. But that won't happen. We'll both keep going to classes, and the ocean will be as unwalkable as ever.

Someday, my love. Someday.

I love you.
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Oct. 18th, 2010

heartfinity

[Infinity]

From Here to Eternity:

I've missed a lot of days- school really picked up and is kicking my arse XD

So I'll just make entries when I can from here on out.

Your school year just booted up a week ago- you're now living at the dorms, with no internet until tomorrow. I have to say, I don't think I've ever been more worried. It's tough, you know? I miss being able to hear your voice, and know that you're safe. I just miss you. Even as I type this, you're not online, and I'm so worried that something happened to you. You're my world, my love... I just want to warp you over here, so that I'd know that you were safe.

There's nothing I want more in this world than to be in your arms once more, even if it's for an instant. And I guess I get scared that I'll never get to feel that again, because something will happen to you. And part of that fear is powerlessness, because I can't do shit to save you. I can't give my life for yours, because of this stupid ocean in the way. I want to protect you, but I can't. And maybe that scares me too.

You know something? Any time I'm nervous or scared, and I don't know what to do, I fiddle with the necklace you gave me. I guess it's just something to do with my hands, but I like to think it gives me a sense of safety, in an odd way. Hell. For a moment of your safety, I'd loose damnation upon the stars.

I miss you, my love. I hope this finds you safe and happy.

I love you~ For all eternity.
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Oct. 8th, 2010

heartfinity

[50]: Triple post! All the way across the journal!

Day 50: October 7, 2010:

Well, this is the third and final entry I missed- there was much studying to be done, my love~ Hopefully these three will have made up for the misses.

I had the most killer organic chemistry test today- it pretty much decimated my poor brain. But you were here when I got back, and I was able to cuddle up with you, and that made it all okay again. I'm really happy that you're falling asleep by my side (in some silly way) again~

I've already told you about all of the other silly little things that happened today~ Although I will say that I had a nice dinner out with the shenanigans crew, and I wished that you were there. I always wish we were together, though~

I hope that whatever nightmare you had last night isn't a recurring dream- I really want to be there with you if something like that happens again, you know? I want to be able to wrap my arms around you (in some silly way), and tell you that it's all alright, that I'm here, we're in each other's embrace, and that it's safe to go back to sleep.

I think for tomorrow, I will try and make a silly poem again~ I love you <3
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heartfinity

[49]: What does it meeean?~

Day 49: October 6, 2010:

Today was a relatively calm day- my one class was cancelled, because of some silly football game. I didn't mind, as it gave me a chance to get some much needed sleep~ And then, I got to studying for that silly test tomorrow.

I got to be with you while I was studying, too. You were so tired- it was adorable. After a while, my back just hurt too badly to sit up, so I went to lay down. I imagined you curled up against me, fast asleep. It made me smile so much, you know~? A little while later, you woke up after a nightmare of some sort, and told me that you were so glad that I was there. I still don't know what you dreamed of, but it must have been pretty jarring. I'm glad I was there, too. You fell asleep again after a bit, or at least your breathing evened out, as it normally does when you're more tired~ I find it comforting, you know? It brings me back to August, when I fell asleep listening to your soft breaths <3

I miss having you right next to me, but in our hearts, we're always together~ Someday, we'll be able to be together- body and soul.

I love you <3
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heartfinity

[48]: It's so intense!

Day 48: October 5, 2010:

So, there will be three posts in a row because I forgot for so many days... Sorry bout that, love.

As you know, I had my neurobiology test today. I think I did pretty well, or at least better than I did last time XD The spinal tract questions owned me, but everything else was relatively straightforward. I even did the drawing pretty well~ Now I just have to worry about the big orgchem test on Thursday- but I know you'll help me along~

I just want you to know how amazing you are, and how lucky I feel to have you by my side <3 I love you <333~
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Oct. 4th, 2010

heartfinity

[47]: Surprise~

Day 47: October 4, 2010:

Well, I got a good cuddleup with you earlier today, and you went to sleep around 7:30ish... and then you were up again at 11:30! It was a wonderful surprise, to be able to see you again tonight <3

I haven't been doing much today, just studying for neurobio tomorrow. I'm so nervous XD

That's about all I have to say~ I told you about the rest of my day already.

I love you so much, darling~
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Oct. 3rd, 2010

heartfinity

[46]: My beloved <3

Day 46: October 3, 2010:

I actually ended up sleeping until 5:40ish- I think I missed you by four minutes~

All I really did today was study and play some White version, so there's not much to tell you about~

I just want you to know that I love you more than words can say <3333~
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heartfinity

[45]: Precious Remembrance

Day 45: October 2, 2010:

The numbers on these entries just keep going up... And I guess it's hard to believe that time is moving so quickly.

For some reason, I've been in a very reminiscent mood today. Perhaps it was because, after cuddling up with you, I slept for a few hours. Maybe I dreamed of us together again- you know me, I can't remember my dreams for anything XD But when I woke up, I just wished you were next to me so badly. Rolling over and remembering that you're not there made me sad... And then, it started to rain, which just reminded me more of you.

And now that I look at the clock, it is already past midnight- it seems that time has escaped from me. Oh well- it seems today is another instance of two in one day~

I cannot express in words how happy I am that we found each other. In the future, we will be able to wake up by each other's side every morning, and fall asleep in each other's arms every night. I can't wait <3

I love you~
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Oct. 1st, 2010

heartfinity

[44]: ...I will forever love you~

Day 44: October 1, 2010:

Happy 11 Months, my darling!~

I'm actually in the midst of my next LP post, but I just wanted to make sure that I told you how much I love you~ I woke up this morning, and I checked your LP~ It was a hilarious post, my beloved <3~

And the drawing you left me on dA made me smile so much <3333~ It really brightened my day, you know?

Just wanted to tell you that~ I've got to post this, because time is almost up~

I love you more than words could ever hope to say <3
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Sep. 30th, 2010

heartfinity

[43]: For more reasons than there are atoms in the universe...

Day 43: September 30, 2010:

My, my, it's almost the end of September. I can't believe that, you know? I would say that time is flying by, but it's also being quite slow about it- weird how our perception does that, no?

Today, I got my memoir back, got an A on it, the usual good news XD And in neurobio, we almost got the test moved to Thursday, but some dipshits were worried about the football game mehmehmeh. Probably because they wanted to stay up late, be drunk, and not have to take a test. Because of them, we couldn't have all of the material, and what material we did have we had to go through superfast. If I could find one of the people who protested, I'd slap them with sharp words. But that was only a small detractor from the day, the rest of it has been pretty awesome. I mean, for a profile assignment in Comp, I actually did one on Kirie XD No one understood. It was great.

I hope you get this when you wake up~ I'll probably be in Orgo when you do. I hope you had a wonderful rest cycle, full of beautiful dreams~ I always wish I could do that, y'know? Vivid dreams. The only time my dreams are vivid is when it's a nightmare. Besides that, they only come through in waves. I do have to say that the most amazing dreams I've had included you- the ones where we were together.

I can't wait for the day when we don't have to worry about Skype disconnects. When it will be like those two weeks~ Being with each other with no evil monitors to act as blockades. Also, with only one evil Monitor to kill Johnson. Some things are just unavoidable, thanks to Bungie's storyline department.

I digress. I just realized that over there, it just hit our 11 month. Happy Arbitrary Number of Months Anniversary! That leaves only one until our one-year~ I'm really excited for that, because I want to do something super amazing for you~ I've got a bunch of ideas. I plan to choose one that I can perfect- something that will be incredible and beautiful. I can't wait to see you smile~

I love you, my perfectly imperfect you~
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